me: *dials 911*
operator: hello 911, what’s your emergency?
me: i need someone to cuddle with, rub my back, and play with my hair
operator: someone is on their way, please stay calm
(Source: beachier, via perks-of-being-chinese)
mitt romney has a crush on obama pass it on
honey is there something you’d like to tell me
(Source: evaunit08, via rena97)
person: whats your major?
me: ＥＸＴＲＥＭＥ ＤＥＡＴＨ
what college you going to?
me: ＡＷＥＳＯＭＥ ＳＫＥＬＥＴＯＮ ＨＥＬＬ ＣＯＬＬＥＧＥ
(Source: twiabpaianlatfwnogf, via avant-sad)